


Belief

by Valentine



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s03e09 The Girl Who Knew Too Much, Gen, Mama Stilinski Feels, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Sheriff Stilinski Finds Out, Stilinski Family Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentine/pseuds/Valentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John doesn’t talk about her unless he’s drunk, and Stiles doesn’t talk about her at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Belief

**Author's Note:**

> This is set directly after Season Three Episode Nine: The Girl Who Knew Too Much. I used the fanon favorite John as the sheriff's first name.

John Stilinski sits uncomfortably on a dirt floor, bound tightly with coarse rope, blood drying on his chest and grieves, not for himself, but for his son. His son who has already lost his mother and can’t, shouldn’t lose his father too. His son whose last words to him, “mom would’ve believed me,” ring in his ears.

John doesn’t talk about her unless he’s drunk, and Stiles doesn’t talk about her at all, hasn’t since the memorial service when in a suit too big for him he’d dropped a handful of daffodils, his mother’s favorite, on top of her coffin and whispered goodbye. John remembers him biting his lip until he drew blood, but he didn’t cry, didn’t break down until they were home. When John went to call him for dinner he found him huddled in the closet in the master bedroom clutching one of his mother’s sweaters and crying so hard he could barely breathe.

And maybe sometimes he drank too much, drank until he couldn’t hear the whisper of her voice telling him to come to bed, a bed that was cold and empty. Eight years after her death he still wore his wedding ring. He took it off once on the fourth anniversary of her memorial service and was late to his shift for the first time since he had started working in Beacon Hills fifteen years earlier. He pulled into the station parking lot and turned the car off but couldn’t get out, his gaze fixated on his bare finger. He drove back home, put on his ring and never took it off again.

And sometimes he can’t meet his son’s eyes, eyes that are so much like hers, wide and sharp and the brightest brown he’d ever seen. Stiles with his clever brain and complete lack of common sense. Many times since his wife’s death he has thought life would be easier if his son was less like her, less smart, less likely to throw himself body, brain, heart, and soul at life, and then he feels guilty for the thought. His son who in the last year went from his perpetual shadow to someone who can’t talk to him without lies spilling from his lips, some almost comical except this is his son, the only thing he has left of his wife, and it feels like he doesn’t know him. 

Stiles is smarter than he is, but John always knew when he was up to something. Stiles’ face had always betrayed him, but now his face is guarded, closed off and John didn’t know why. And now that he does know the guilt is so thick it feels like a physical weight sitting on his chest. He refuses to let his last words to his son be angry. The look on his face when John turned to walk away is burned into his memory. Stiles looked defeated. He was thinner than John had ever seen him, cheekbones sharp in his face. He looked too old for his years and so far away from the little boy who wanted to grow up to be just like his dad. He pushes the pain and grief aside and concentrates on escaping. He will live, will find his son and hug him, and he will make sure Stiles knows he is loved.


End file.
